Coral Gables A’s Stories: For All the Marbles

The Coral Gables A's vs. our archrivals in a winner-take-all championship game. Let's get into it.

Those who’ve been following America’s funniest men’s league baseball team, the Coral Gables A’s, know that it’s been a rollercoaster few weeks for us. A playoff run where we sweep our way into the title game. A meeting with our biggest rival: Suela. A Game 1 victory after a ton of hullabaloo, which is a given every time we play them. A Game 2 loss after even more tomfoolery. It’s been an eventful few months. 

Now we arrive at the winner-take-all third game in the best-of-three championship series. On the mound for them would be the same guy who threw a complete game in Game 2. He is a former Major Leaguer named David Martinez. He had a few cups of coffee in the Show with the Houston Astros in 2013 and 2014, and last played professionally in 2023. 

On the mound for us would be Amed, who normally plays outfield but has been lights out on the mound this season. We had gone the traditional route with a frontline starter in Games 1 and 2, with Angel starting the first game and Mike starting the second. They are our co-aces. However, since all three would be available for this game, we thought it might be better if we never allow them to see the same arm twice. 

Here’s how things played out. 

Innings 1 and 2

Amed threw a scoreless first, working around a pair of base runners and getting a huge K to retire the side. Their guy went 1-2-3 on us. He struck me out with a change-up that simply disappeared. That’s his pitch. You can see him pre-grip the ball before he steps on the mound. He places it between his middle and ring finger, essentially holding it using Spock’s Vulcan Salute from Star Trek. A split-change is a more apt way of describing it, though many people give it the nickname of “Vulcan Change.” 

A fair amount of big league pitchers throw this thing, as it creates more deception than a traditional splitter, which is held between the index and middle finger. Most splitters will knuckle erratically as they get to the plate. You can see them coming, but that doesn’t make them any less nasty. A Vulcan Change, however, spins just like a fastball and travels at a speed close enough to a fastball to trick the batter’s eye. The problem is that it’s spinning at a much lower RPM, which makes it drop. 

It’s gross. He throws it in any count, it starts down the middle, then falls through a trapdoor. 

Amed once again escaped a jam in the 2nd inning to keep it scoreless. Their guy did his thing too. No score after 2.

Two-Out Magic

Every hitter in Suela’s lineup tries to do the same things: work the count and hit a hard line drive or ground ball somewhere. Amed got two quick outs to begin the 3rd. A walk, single, and hit-by-pitch followed. Bases loaded and arguably their best hitter coming up. Amed got him to two strikes but he kept battling. No one battles at the plate like Suela. He eventually got a pitch he could handle and hit a single to right field that brought in two runs. It was an excellent at bat by him and an impressive two-out rally by them. 

Amed retired the next batter. 2-0, them. 

Nothing doing against their starter. He was locked in and throwing even better than he was in Game 2. 

Mike’s Brief Outing

Amed was done after three innings and two runs allowed. Insert Mike, our ace. Normally, Mike would have the ball for the rest of the game in this situation. Two things prevented that from happening, however. 

First, we had Angel waiting in the wings. Angel is our other ace. He started Game 1 of the championship series and went six strong for the win. Second, Mike had to leave for a family matter, which we knew going into it. He’d have one or two innings in him at the most before he had to leave. Mike pitched the fourth inning and, in typical Mike fashion, threw up a zero. 

We were still trailing 2-0 in the bottom of the fourth. I came up with two outs in the inning not looking to drive the ball; just find a way on and cause havoc. I walked, then it was off to the races.

Of the many skills their ex-Major Leaguer had, holding runners on was not one of them. He was slow to the plate and rarely attempted a pickoff. His focus was the batter. I knew that and wasted no time, stealing second on the first pitch. 

The rule of thumb in baseball is to not make the first or third out at third base. Why? That’s a question I’ve never gotten answered. How about don’t make any out at third base? Why is making the second out there acceptable, but the first or third isn’t? Don’t get it. As such, attempting to steal third with two outs is rare, since so many people adhere to this silly adage. I’m not a silly goose, though. I was off for third on the very next pitch and made it in safely. 

Their pitcher went into the windup once I got to third and did not look at me; I think I might’ve been able to steal home off him. Now that would’ve been gangster. There was just no way for me to tell Jorge B., the hitter, to not swing and potentially end my life, so I stayed put. Jorge ended up chopping a grounder in the hole between first and second. The first baseman ranged to his right for a backhanded play, but the ball lipped out of his glove. Jorge runs well and beat it out. I scored, making it 2-1. Good thing I stole third with two outs. 

Mike had to leave after the fourth inning. It was Angel’s turn now. 

Playing Through It

Angel’s arm was fresh, but his ankle was not. He had sprained it early in the week. The swelling had gone down and he said it felt good enough to pitch, but that there were no guarantees he’d be as effective or as durable. It was a risk we had to take. 

No issues in his first inning. He threw a scoreless 5th with a punchout, and to me, looked like his usual self. We couldn’t create any offense in the bottom half. The score remained 2-1 heading to the 6th. 

Our worst fears were realized in the 6th. After a walk and a double, the third batter of the inning chopped a ball that bounced high in the air in front of the mound. Angel is extremely athletic and bounces off the mound like a cat, but what his mind wanted to do and what his body was able to do were two different things. He broke off towards the ball, but felt a shooting pain in his ankle. He still managed to field the ball, practically hopping on one leg, and fired over to first. The runner was safe on a bang-bang play. A run scored, making it 3-1.

Angel immediately fell to the ground writhing in pain after he threw to first. Both teams did what they could as we took his cleat and sock off, wrapped his ankle in athletic tape, and carried him off the field. It was a tough scene. The task of winning the game just got a lot tougher as well. 

Alex, who is normally a catcher but can throw a few effective innings when we need him to, relieved Angel, though he hardly had time to warm up due to the injury. He immediately induced a double play ground ball, though the runner on third scored in the process. 4-1. Alex retired the next batter to end the inning. 

Pulling Away

After another scoreless inning by their starter, Alex took the mound in the 7th. The leadoff hitter hit a sharp single to left field. The next batter walked. The third hitter hit a jam shot over first base that could not have been placed any better had he thrown it. Bases loaded. The fourth hitter of the inning hit another blooper over first base. Jorge Q., who was playing right field, raced after it and laid out head-first trying to snag it. It missed his glove by centimeters as the ball landed directly on the line in shallow right field. Fair ball. Bases-clearing triple. 7-1. 

We didn’t allow any more runs that inning, but going into the 8th with their starter in cruise control and us chasing six runs meant we needed a minor miracle. 

There would be no miracles on this day. The score held at 7-1. Isaac, a former A who attended the game with the hopes of seeing us win it all, goes to me before one of my at bats, “Hey, I think these guys might be more annoying than the other Suela.” He’s probably right. The chirping never stopped for the 27 innings we played against them in the championship series. The last out of the game was made; yet another second place finish to add to our vast collection.

Bad Omen

None of us said it out loud, but there was a bad feeling in the air from the 2nd inning on. The commissioner of the previous league we played in, which we left last season, decided to pop in to say hello. Mind you, we did not exactly leave on good terms with him. Him strolling into our dugout like he was reuniting with old friends, all to try to convince us of switching back to his league, in the middle of the deciding game of our entire season…was not good for our emotional state. It was a dick move. “There’s a time and a place,” I said to him after 10 minutes or so of him being there. “I haven’t been able to get on the phone with you guys,” he said. I wanted to scream “WHY DO YOU THINK THAT IS?” in his face. I just repeated the line about time and place instead. He took the hint and took off a few minutes later. 

Nothing good happened after this pop-in. The loss is on us, ultimately. But goddamnit was that a vibe-killer. 

A’s Legends

As was the case in Game 2, this game featured a few guest appearances in the form of legendary A’s. Just ask them, they’ll tell you how legendary they are!

Isaac:

Former catcher and manager. Called a great game. Cool tattoos. Son, Lennox, is a baller on the diamond. Looks like Bam Margera (but much healthier).

Eric:

Former outfielder and second baseman. Line drive machine. Successful business owner. Perpetually grumpy, especially with umpires. 

On to the Next One

We needed one more win this season, but didn’t get it. This has become our way, sadly, and it adds salt to the wound when you consider it usually happens against the same team(s). I, for one, see it as bad luck. If something was truly wrong with the A’s, if there was a piece we were missing that kept holding us back, then we wouldn’t be making it all the way to the title game so often. We’d be getting cut down before that. I see it as a run of bad luck in the biggest moments at the end of a journey, which is a situation we used to dominate. In a one-game, winner-take-all situation though, luck is inevitably involved. We haven’t had much of that the last few years. 

That’s how I’m looking at it anyway. Making it to the championship in our first season of a new league is nothing to sneeze at. It was the birthday weekend of Dy'lan, a middle-of-the-order hitter for us, and Xavier, who goes by X and is our leadoff hitter. So we had cake after the game to suppress our sorrows with sweets. Nothing is going to stand in our way next season. 

And if I’m wrong and we lose again? Well, you know we’ll still make it entertaining. 

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