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The Peanut Gallery's Top 5 Fat-Letes of All-Time

Being thicc doesn't mean you can't get the job done on the field.

Recently, I was watching some sporting news and saw that Vince Wilfork was inducted into the Patriots Hall of Fame (well-deserved). I then remembered a clip of him intercepting a pass and hauling ass down the sideline. It got me thinking about the best heavy-set athletes in professional sports. We are accepting of all body types here at the Peanut Gallery, so I wanted to spit out a list of the top fat-letes of all time.

There's one catch, though. The athlete cannot have been thin and then packed on weight...they need to have been large for all or most of their careers. Examples are fellas like Tony Gwynn and Shaq, who were lean and mean for a big chunk of their careers. And no, Charles Barkley is not on this list. He was rarely fat during his playing days...he just had the diet of a five-year-old. The '90s were cruel and full of bodyshamers!

Honorable Mention: Jared Lorenzen

The "Hefty Lefty" was the heaviest QB to ever play in the NFL, coming in at 285 lbs. He played for four years as a backup and even won a Super Bowl with the Giants. After his time in the NFL, he played in various indoor/arena football leagues, where he shredded up defenses. He once chucked 81 TDs in a season and won league MVP honors for the Ultimate Football League. Sadly, he passed away in 2019 due to health complications. RIP.

5. Glen Davis

I felt like I had to include at least one hooper, otherwise this list would be mostly football and baseball players. This award goes to Glen "Big Baby" Davis who was 6'9", 290 lbs in the NBA. Davis first burst onto the scene during his college days at LSU, specifically during the 2006 March Madness tourney where his 310-lb frame was a lot to handle for opposing big men. He won SEC Rookie of the Year (2005), then SEC Player of the Year (2006). He would lead his team, alongside Tyrus Thomas, to the Final 4 in '06. Davis was then drafted by the SuperSonics (bring the NBA back to Seattle!) and subsequently traded to Boston, where he became a serviceable role player. The train kept rolling for the Big Baby when he helped the C's win an NBA Championship in 2008.

He had a beefy body in college, which was trimmed down quite a bit to his listed playing weight in the NBA. There's just no way he would have been able to play as long as he did with all that extra mass. Despite the drop, he still had quite an atypical NBA frame (perhaps due to too many peanut butter and jelly's?), but he used it to his advantage and carved out a decent career. He averaged 8 PPG and almost 4.5 RPG across eight NBA seasons, even though his body suggested he'd be better suited for the gridiron.

4. John Daly

It's widely known this guy likes to get banged up, blow money gambling (and probably on powder), rip ciggies, and eat like shit...and it shows. Daly looks like he should be managing a McDonalds and getting free Happy Meals, but instead, he's a pro golfer.

This dude is a legend. With a total of 19 PGA Tour wins and two Major championships, he's been pretty successful in the game of golf, despite his self-destructive tendencies. I'd argue he's been more successful in having a damn good time. Most people struggle mightily with their swing while Daly had no issues gripping it and ripping it. He was incredible, even though he had to work around his 250-lb frame. Daly is my favorite golfer of all time.

3. Vince Wilfork

Mentioned in the opener, this big boy could do it all. Being a 6'2", 325-lb athlete requires a lot of power. Wilfork was one of the best defensive tackles in NFL history, possesses multiple Super Bowl rings, and played for a whopping 13 years in a position (nose tackle) that is certainly not kind to the human body.

It was amazing watching him sack QBs and impede RBs. In some of his highlight tapes, you'll see him pick off passes and take off running - the dude could move! His strength and power were off the charts, but he was also skilled. In Houston's Hard Knocks, he could be seen playing basketball and he's got a little Splash Bro in him = skill. There's also a clip of him kicking field goals with Carli Lloyd, booting nukes! Vince is also a superhero; he pulled a woman from a car wreck just hours after a game against the Colts.

2. Bartolo Colon

I love this guy. "Big Sexy" looked like a Pixar character standing 5'11" and 285 lbs, and I wouldn't be surprised if he weighed more. Colon gets big points; he was an effective pitcher in the bigs from 1997 until 2018. 21 freakin' years! He won a Cy Young, was a 4X All-Star, and amassed almost 3,500 IP. He used to bring the gas, but relied on deception and movement as he got older. Bartolo could also swing the stick a little bit and fielded his position very well. For a guy to have these physical dimensions and play in the Majors for 20+ years, he had to be extremely athletic underneath it all.

1. Babe Ruth

I've bashed the Babe before for the era of baseball he played in, but this porker needs to be on the list. Nothing needs to be said about his accolades; even non-sports fans know a fair amount of information about him. It's been reported that the slugger voraciously ate hot dogs and chugged soda. Not a shocker. His wife claimed he'd eat steak, a dozen eggs, a bunch of potatoes, and ginger ale for breakfast...oh, and to top it off, he'd have some bourbon as well. Carb heavy for sure. The Sultan of Swallow was stepping up to home plate and the dinner plate. Ba Dum Tss.

All right, that's all from me today. I'm about to go devour a frozen pizza with a side of Doritos, and wash it down with a cold can of Coke. See? No judgment here at the PG. Peace.

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