Nutshell: The Dolphins Don't Deserve Nice Things

The Miami Dolphins: a revolving door of mediocrity.

I can't prove it, but I'm pretty sure being a Dolphins fan takes years off your life. Who knows how long I'm going to be on this Earth? 75 years? 80? 85? But I guarantee it would be longer if I cheered for a different team. This is one of the innumerable downsides to being a fan of the Miami Dolphins.


Things seemed to be going pretty well for 'Phins fans. We missed the playoffs yet again, but the team fought back from a 1-7 record to finish the season at 9-8, nearly making the playoffs for the second year in a row. Back-to-back winning seasons is nice. That hasn't happened since 2003. Sweeping the Patriots is cool too. That hasn't happened since 2000. The Dolphins entered their offseason with obvious holes (O-line, reliable WRs, possibly a RB, O-line, offensive coordinator, did I say O-line?). However, they had the cap space and assets to fill them adequately.


They still have the cap space and assets, only now they don't have a fucking head coach after Brian Flores got canned.


Another year of life. Gone.


Stephen Ross: Meddler Cum Laude


The best owners in sports are almost invariably the ones who employ a hands-off approach. They do their best to hire the right people, pay for what is needed, then sit back and let the experts do their thing. Stephen Ross is not a hands-off owner. Stephen Ross is not a good owner.


Brian Flores seemed to be a little too prickly for Ross's taste, assuming the reports of internal discord are true. Didn't get along with some higher-ups, namely GM Chris Grier. Struggled hiring coaches, specifically his offensive staff. Got in players' faces. Yada yada yada. Stuff like this always comes out after a guy gets fired, and whether it's true or not, it doesn't/shouldn't take away from the ultimate determining factor in sports: wins and losses.


Stephen Ross, who has presided over the most dismal stretch in franchise history, seems to be choosing relationships over wins. When you have a talented, albeit flawed, head coach who just led your team to the most successful two-year stretch of your tenure, you don't fire him. You try to fix what needs fixing, in this case Flores's people skills and offensive coaching staff. 19-14 over the last two seasons should not be a death sentence.


A Rule of Thumb


If your opponents would make this move for you, it's not a good move. Plenty of teams are happy the Dolphins parted ways with Brian Flores. The Patriots are happy. Every team with a head coaching vacancy is happy. I'm sure teams potentially looking for an upgrade at head coach are happy. Brian Flores instantly became one of the hottest names on the market after he was fired. That's a sign ya done fucked up.


Dolphin fans should be bulletproof by now, but this organization somehow still finds ways to open up fresh wounds. This Brian Flores absurdity is the latest one, and the fact that there doesn't seem to be a plan in place as to who his successor will be only adds salt to this new gaping hole in our chests.


2022's off to a great start.


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