The Miami Dolphins and Florida Gators Stink for the Same Reasons

The Florida Gators and the Miami Dolphins make me cry.

I have a simple formula for a perfect football weekend once that time of year rolls along. I need two specific teams to win and two specific teams to lose. At the professional ranks, I need the Miami Dolphins to win. At the collegiate ranks, I need the Florida Gators to win, while the Miami Hurricanes and Florida State Seminoles lose. If I get those two wins and those two losses, oh baby, food tastes better on Monday. The sun shines brighter. I don’t want to run over the peacocks who live in my neighborhood quite as much. 

2025 has given me zero perfect weekends so far. In fact, it’s handed me two imperfect weekends, with both the Dolphins and Gators losing and the Canes and Noles winning. 

I will persevere, however. As Don Shula (1930-2020) and Steve Spurrier (alive and well) would want me to. I’m not sure if this is good, bad, or irrelevant luck, but Florida and Miami suffer from near identical problems which, if not fixed, will plague them for the rest of 2025 and beyond. 

Here are some of the parallels I’m seeing. 

Play-Calling

Both Mike McDaniel and Billy Napier are head coaches who call plays on offense. Personally, I think way too many NFL and college coaches call plays, specifically on offense. The responsibilities of a head coach are vast and ever-changing throughout the course of a game. For him to have to rattle off 60-70 intricate calls in a timely and accurate manner, while also managing a mixture of his players, staff, and the referees, is a lot. Yes, both Napier and McDaniel are offensive guys and likely feel they give their teams the best chance to win if they’re driving the bus on offense. But I think it’s time to give it up and become more of a CEO coach (ala Nick Saban, Mike Tomlin, Bill Belichick, John Harbaugh, etc.) There’s only one Andy Reid. It’s hard to be a play-calling head coach. 

There’s also the issue that they suck something awful. Mike McDaniel, who has long had an issue with getting his incredibly complicated calls in on time in order to allow his offense to make pre-snap adjustments, does not seem to have improved. Billy Napier gets the calls in on time; they’re just painfully simple and predictable. Despite having a roster full of dynamic play-makers, the Gators run plays you might’ve seen in Madden 04. Although McDaniel and Napier face opposite issues with their play-calling, they’ve arrived at the same destination: wasting talent and maybe costing themselves a job. 

There are built-in advantages to a team using an offensive coach, probably upstairs in the booth, to call plays. First off is peace and quiet. The guy is sitting there next to a handful of his colleagues just focused on ball. No one in the stands is screaming what they did to his mother last night. He doesn’t have to pester a ref to keep an eye on 74, who’s been holding all game. None of that. All he has to do is game plan and make the best decisions he can, and call up the QB when he needs to discuss something.

There’s also the benefit of his vantage point. Being eye-level with the action, like a head coach on the sidelines, doesn’t give you the best view of what’s happening. The coaches’ box lets you see it all. You’re God. There’s nothing in your way. There’s nothing you can’t see. You’re telling me McDaniel and Napier can pick things up as fast as an OC with a view from above? No way. 

The CEO head coaches still have a headset on and are listening in to everything that’s going on, and can overrule at any time. Final say on all decisions still falls on them. But I am simply tired of watching DJ Lagway hand the ball off on 3rd and 3 for a HB Power, only for it to get stuffed. And I am tired of watching Tua Tagovailoa rush everyone to the line with :7 left on the play clock, immediately get the pre-snap motion going (the Dolphins do that more than anyone), and receive the snap just before the clock strikes :00. 

Speaking of Tua and Lagway…

QB Imposters

Where is the Tua Tagovailoa who led the NFL in yards, QB rating, completion percentage, touchdown percentage, and yards-per-attempt at various points from 2022-2024? Where is the DJ Lagway who helped the Gators beat #21 LSU, #9 Ole Miss, and Florida State as a true freshman to close out the regular season last year? These versions of Tua and Lagway have been missing so far in 2025. 

Tua looks extremely skittish and is prioritizing getting rid of the ball, no matter how tiny the window is, over getting sacked or scrambling away from the pressure. His first game was so bad it looked like point-shaving. He’s looked closer to his regular self in his last two games, but has been dragged down by disastrous mistakes in crunch time. His injury history is troublesome and becomes even more of an issue if it’s affecting his play when he’s healthy. But at least we’re moving in the right direction. 

As for Lagway, he looks like he has the yips or something, I don’t know. You should not have to make an acrobatic catch if you’re a receiver in the flat catching a check down. His short-yardage throws against Miami gave his teammates zero chance to gain yardage after the catch. Half the time it was impressive they caught the ball at all. This came after his five-interception game in Death Valley. Tua appears to be finding a groove. A hint of a groove. A hint of a hint of a groove, maybe. Something. Lagway looks like a high schooler. Legitimately. I worry he is broken and needs a change of scenery in order to develop his considerable talent. 

Complacent Management

Scott Stricklin is the Athletic Director at the University of Florida, a position he’s held since 2016. Stephen Ross is the Principal Owner of the Miami Dolphins, a position he’s held since 2009. Neither one of these guys feels compelled to fire the ones responsible for their teams’ current ineptitude. I find this odd, is what I’d say in a professional setting. I find this to be fucking bullshit, is what I’d say in a group chat with my friends. 

Billy Napier

Scott Stricklin fired Jim McElwain after going 10-4 and 9-4 in 2015 and 2016, respectively. The 2017 season got off to a 3-4 start, and that was that. He then hired Dan Mullen, who went 10-3, 11-2, and 8-4 in his first three seasons, before a 5-6 start to 2021 did him in. Does this seem harsh? Maybe. But this is the University of Florida we’re talking about. Below .500, even once, doesn’t cut it. The standard is competing for New Year’s Six bowl games every season, and when that standard is not met, heads will roll. 

Unless you’re Billy Napier, for some reason. 

Billy Napier went 6-7 his first season. He went 5-7 his second season. Last year, the one semi-bright spot on his résumé in Gainesville, the Gators went 8-5 while playing the toughest schedule in the country, mostly while playing a true freshman at quarterback (Lagway). Many believed they would push for a playoff spot in 2025, yet here we are at 1-3, with the offense having scored a grand total of 33 points in their last three games, all losses. The Gators haven’t started 1-3 since 1986.

Why does he still have a job? Why not be the first dog to the bowl in the hunt for a new head coach? They still have to play #10 Texas, #9 Texas A&M, #5 Georgia, #13 Ole Miss, #15 Tennessee, and #8 Florida State. This could be a two- or three-win season. I don’t see the value in trying to make Billy Napier a thing anymore. He is 20-22, which, for the amount of games he’s coached, makes him the worst head coach in program history. Enough is enough. 

Chris Grier

Moving back to the professional ranks, Mike McDaniel hasn’t had as inauspicious of a career as Billy Napier has, with two playoff appearances in three seasons as head coach of the Dolphins. I think he’s earned the right to at least play out this season. General Manager Chris Grier, though? That needs some explaining. 

Chris Grier has been the GM since 2016 and has been with the organization in some capacity since 2000, in the scouting department. No GM in NFL history has held that position for this long without a playoff victory. Chris Grier’s run, littered with big paydays for injury-prone players (Tua, Laremy Tunsil, Austin Jackson, Will Fuller, Bradley Chubb, etc.), is historic in its ineptitude. Yet Stephen Ross keeps him there, seemingly fully content with mediocrity. 

There is a rumor that potential blackmail might be involved. Former head coach Brian Flores is actively suing the Dolphins for racial discrimination and a hostile work environment, stemming from an alleged incident in which Ross offered him money to throw games, which Flores refused. Essentially, Grier knows where the bodies are buried and is not someone Ross wants testifying against him if he were to get canned. I’m not sure how much credence I give to this story, but it would at least explain how Grier has managed to keep his job over the past few seasons. 

Will Things Turn Around?

For the Gators I say hell no. For the Dolphins I say maybe, but probably not. The perfect weekend might have to wait until 2026. Until then, I’ll be here in the trenches earning my stripes as a fan, watching the same terrible things happen to my favorite teams.  

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