• Sheehan Planas-Arteaga

Nutshell: Rob Gronkowski as an Actor...Wuff.

...Have you seen Rob Gronkowski's USAA commercials?

When it comes to an All-Time NFL lineup, I'm taking Rob Gronkowski as my tight end. He's my tight end GOAT. He doesn't have the longevity of an Antonio Gates or Tony Gonzalez, but Gronk's peak is better than any other tight end in NFL history. To me at least.


So when I say what I'm about to say, please know that I hold no ill will towards Mr. Gronkowski, as I think he's one of the most dominant and entertaining football players in the NFL. NEVERTHELESS...


He might be the worst actor ever. Not just the present day. Ever.


USAA Commercials


Exhibit A:


Exhibit B:


Gronk puts forward this kind of performance in every commercial he stars in, of which there are many. This man stumbles through his lines like he's chasing Kenyan Drake. He's as believable as Dick Van Dyke's accent in Mary Poppins. It's almost like he's doing it on purpose, which, in a way, plays into his well-established "dumb-but-lovable jock" brand.


So...is he doing it on purpose? 'Cause this is some Tommy Wiseau-level stuff he's putting on our screens. Gronk's acting belongs in Samurai Cop.


Perhaps his aforementioned brand gives him a little bit of leeway with the viewer when it comes to his "acting," if you can call it that. But it makes me cringe. Granted, I'm no acting coach or actor myself, and I acknowledge that athletes don't always make the best actors (Dan Marino in Ace Ventura was pretty brutal).


But it doesn't take a chef to know this is the worst-tasting fish I've ever had in my life.


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