What 2023 MLB Managers Look Like

The Morning Blitz did a similar bit a few months ago, about NFL head coaches. This inspired me. Here's what the 2023 crop of MLB managers look like they do for a living, if they weren't writing lineup cards.

NOTE: some of these guys have been fired and/or have moved onto different teams. These look-alikes are about the managers of the 2023 season.

Skip Schumaker- Head trainer at your local YouFit.

Buck Showalter- Legendary college football coach, recently fired after allegations of player abuse.

Brian Snitker- Played the dopey neighbor on a popular '80s sitcom.

Rob Thomson- Buck Showalter's longtime DC who replaced him as HC after Buck got canned.

Dave Martinez- Owns a nightclub. Big Affliction t-shirt guy.

Craig Counsell- Health and longevity influencer. Hasn't had a sip of alcohol since '88. Loves his toe shoes.

David Bell- Youth pastor. Allegedly never curses, though some claim to have seen him in a filthy shouting match with his wife at Duffy's.

Derek Shelton- General contractor. Father of the #1 HS QB in the country. "Derek Jr. isn't signing anywhere unless he's starting as a freshman."

Oliver Marmol- Latin hip-hop one hit wonder from the early 2000s.

David Ross- Retired firefighter.

Gabe Kapler- Longtime soap opera star struggling to be taken seriously in other roles.

Dave Roberts- Motivational speaker. Releases a self-help book seemingly every year.

Bud Black- US History teacher and head women's volleyball coach.

Bob Melvin- Realtor. Has four daughters whose names all start with the same letter.

Torey Lovullo- Former leading man who now struggles to get roles in Hollywood due to his outspoken far-right political views.

Aaron Boone- Comedian with one schtick that's mostly played out.

Alex Cora- Owner and founder of a huge travel baseball academy. Drives a chrome-plated green Jeep with enormous wheels.

John Schneider- Local arm wrestling champion. Will occasionally sing country covers at the same pub where he arm wrestles.

Brandon Hyde- Your uncle who beats you at every game on Thanksgiving and Christmas. Does demolitions.

Kevin Cash- HS Spanish teacher, was considered the cutest teacher for a while.

Pedro Grifol- Head pharmacist at a CVS.

Rocco Baldelli- HS Humanities teacher. Displaced Kevin Cash as the cutest teacher on staff.

Terry Francona- Owns a used car lot. "You name it, Big Terry's got it!"

A.J. Hinch- Running for DA for the 13th Judicial Court of Florida. Hoping his former secretary doesn't ruin his campaign with her "heinous and categorically false" allegations.

Matt Quatraro- Radio host of a Christian rock and gospel station.

Bruce Bochy- Owner of the town's most beloved burger joint. "Can't beat a Bochy Burger!"

Dusty Baker- Renowned double bassist who's played with every big jazz name you've ever heard of.

Scott Servais- Physician who owns his own practice and drives a white Porsche. Also a wine snob.

Phil Nevin- Drummer of the country's #1 Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet cover band.

Mark Kotsay- Ex-Marine-turned-podcaster. Kid Rock's brother.